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Saturday, July 4, 2015

Celebrity Cidiots

Ever wondered what type of cidiot some of your favorite celebrities are?  According to cheatsheet.com, our top five who've made recent news and tweets, are "Bad Drivers" .....and they know it!

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson made recent tweets about sideswiping a pickup truck that was parked on the street. According to The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots, Johnson would be defined as The Sketch Artist. In the handbook, The Sketch Artist is a cidiot who prides themselves by driving extremely close to parked vehicles while giving each driver side door a free sample of their finest art work. While he may not pride himself in giving that poor pickup truck a free sample of his finest art work and tearing off the mirror, Johnson definitely fits the bill. Instead of a stage 5 Sketch Artist, perhaps he's a Stage 2. Ben Afleck seemed to have tied with The Rock this week, committing the same offense in Santa Monica when he knocked someone's car mirror off. But I have to give them both credit; they owned up to the fact they are Celebrity Cidiots on the road.

Eva Longoria could possibly be the amplified version of The Reckless Rembrandt. Instead of leaving a nasty mark on the parked vehicle's door, she left a nasty mark on a parked vehicle's hood and front grill when she backed into it while trying to make her exodus from the parking lot. Ohhhh that had to hurt.

Kylie Jenner gets the honors of being put in the  Hubub The Flub category, not because she ended up in her neighbor's flowerbed shortly after getting the keys to her parents' car; but simply because she caused a 3 car pileup.

It seems as though Parking is just not one of those driving techniques that celebrities have mastered. Selena Gomez's car ended up in another person's fender on a 7-11 parking lot. She could possibly be defined as The Reckless Rembrandt with Sketch Artist tendencies.



The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots

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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Voted Reader's Favorite 4 out of 5 Stars












Star Star Star Star StarThe Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiotsby D.C. Head, G. Head, Ken Head, S.V.Head 
Non-Fiction - Humor
106 Pages
Reviewed on 07/13/2014

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Foreword Clarion Review of "The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots"

The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots


Reviewed by 
This light, fun book shows the best way to deal with “Cidiots” on the road and, of course, how not to become one.
Ever been suddenly cut off by an inconsiderate driver? Or perhaps come across someone who acted as if driving was interrupting their phone call? The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots sympathizes, and offers to deal with these everyday issues through humor. Written in manual style, this book covers all those little things that people do to make the road a miserable place, from tailgating to failing to signal.
According to the manual, a “Cidiot” is “a navigationally deficient person having common driving knowledge in the lowest degree, appearing to be incapable of guarding against and usually the culprit of common road, street, highway, freeway and expressway dangers, and nearly aloof as to how to properly navigate on the roadways.” The majority of the book is devoted to how to deal with these “Cidiots” and, of course, how not to become one yourself. The book even offers a handy quiz at the end to make sure the reader isn’t one already.
The handbook acts as a guide on what not to do while driving, as well as what to watch out for. It’s written as a comedy piece, yet with important information thrown in. It contains just the right amount of levity and seriousness to balance itself out; categorizing the different kinds of tailgaters (“Double Dutch (Toggled Posterior Magnetism),” for example), incorrect shoulder passes, and many more. It’s a light, slice-of-life style that states what every driver often feels about others’ incompetency on the road.
What does not work in the manual’s favor is the formatting. It’s very skewed to the right of the page, with a large font that causes the book to look longer than it is. Often, there are only three paragraphs per page. This might be to give it a more “manual” type of feel, but the result is distracting and hard to read. It doesn’t have to be formatted like a regular novel, but perhaps centering the text a bit more would make it more readable.
While The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots manages to be clever, smart, and surprisingly educational, it could use some editing for the sake of readability. But the book gives a bit of catharsis for those who are sick of encountering “Cidiots” on the road. People who enjoy comedy and despise bad drivers will get the most out of this quick read.

Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have his/her book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Review make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.