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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Chapter 16: Driving Communication Specialists

Euphorian Drexter
 If it sounds like it’s from outer space, that’s because it is. You have both hands on the
steering wheel and driving at the normal speed limit.  As you look to your right, the cidiot 
in the lane next to you appears to be looking down and driving with their wrists.  A few 
miles later, you observe the person a little more closely, while trying to maintain focus on 
the traffic.  You wonder what they could possibly be doing that’s diverting their attention 
from the road ahead. Wait a minute…no they can’t be…that’s not even logical!  By golly, 
she is texting while driving! 

 The Organizer
Just in case you’re wondering why the vehicle ahead of you just slowed down, take a
closer look through their back window and you’ll find that they’re scrolling through
contacts in their phone (all in alphabetical order by the way).

 The Decision Maker
 In the event that you’re still wondering why the vehicle ahead of you is slowing down even more than before, keep looking through their back window and you will see that now that they’ve found the number they were looking for, they have to decide if they want to send a text message or call. A very important decision such as this may require coin tossing.

The Not-So Multi-Tasker
So the cidiot has decided to send a text message instead of call; their speed continues
to drastically decrease, causing you to get caught by a red light while they snail pace
through it. You cover your eyes, not wanting to see the poor cidiot’s vehicle dismantled
by two-way traffic, which they narrowly escaped and barely noticed because they were
so engrossed in sending out that high priority text message.

Chatty Patty
 You don’t need the internet nowadays to destroy a person’s reputation thanks to the
extremely loud cidiot on the cell phone in the neighboring lane who’s just shared her
friend’s personal life with you and three lanes worth of vehicles while waiting on the
traffic light to change. 

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