Buy the Cidiot's Book!

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Chapter 10: Windows: "Look What I Can Do"!

 Wee Window Washers
 These little tikes most assuredly never wear seatbelts.  For they have the important job of making sure the back windows stay polished.  They usually travel in groups of five or more and may cause obstruction of view; though the cidiot driver wouldn’t notice. In fact, their mini circus act is never discouraged by the driver.  Parents may also use them as car alarms when shopping.
 Portable Kiddie System
 You’ve heard about the cidiots who leave their kids in the car while they shop but little did you know that there was a valid reason behind this (yeah right).  These cidiots aren’t as fortunate as most of us whose vehicles come equipped with alarm systems, therefore, it becomes absolutely necessary to use the kids as alarms instead.
 The Invincibles
  So you catch up with a car that’s been weaving in and out of traffic the last five miles; driving extremely recklessly.  You angrily glare over to see who the culprit is and realize that not only are there so many people in the vehicle you can barely make out who’s who, but that the driver and all of his passengers look as though they should still have training wheels on their bikes. 

 Hubbub the Flub
 You would think that after all of that begging for your parent’s keys to the car and finally getting them that you would at least attempt to show them that you can manage to keep the car out of the neighbor’s flowerbed. 

 Unlicensed to Kill
Cidiots who partake in this kind of behavior are the easiest to detect on the roadways and expressways because these unlicensed gumps don’t know how to tread softly.  They absolutely love the attention they get as they blow through stop signs and red lights, speed down residential streets, and play Russian roulette with traffic.  

 D.U.I.D.  (Driving Under the Influence of Dummies/Drunks)
 You’ll never find these cidiots alone, due to the fact that they find it hard to function behind the wheel without some coaxing from an inebriated buddy or two.  After all, they need an extra set of balls to be able to run a red light while the cops are watching.  

No comments:

Post a Comment