Columbia Review of Books and Film's Take on "The Little Handbook for Navigtionally Challenged Cidiots"

“The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots”
Reviewed By: Avraham Azrieli
Avraham Azrieli writes books and screenplays. His website is: www.AzrieliBooks.com

“The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots” by G. Head (Author), D.C. Head (Contributor), Ken Head (Contributor), and S.V. Head (Contributor) is a supremely funny book of remarkably clever observations on today’s driving habits.
While we rarely find our review to agree with the publisher’s description of a book, in this case, we do. Here’s the one from Amazon:

“Filled with hundreds of common driving offenses, this gut-wrenching funny handbook features hilariously, jaw dropping terms and phrases describing some of the nastiest driving habits you or another cidiot have engaged in almost every day on the highways and byways. Inside, you’ll find “The Motor Mouth Motorist” who suffers from road rage, “The Para Lane Bluffer” who can’t decide if they want to merge with oncoming traffic until the last second, “The Eye Shadow Bandit” who thinks she’s skilled enough to drive at high speeds while applying makeup in the car mirror, and many more epic adventures of daily cidiot driving habits that are far too many to list here. Whether you’re the culprit or the victim of cidiot driving, The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots will have you laughing, pouring tears, and showing off your enriched cidiot vocabulary.”

If anything, the above description is an understatement. And if you’re wondering (wisely) whether the book provides a definition of “Cidiots,” you’re in luck. Not only is there a definition, but there’s also a short quiz to test yourself (in confidence) whether you are one of those cidiots (and to what degree: a major cidiot, a borderline cidiot, or a future victim of a cidiot). Here’s one of the questions, for example:

“The railroad bucks are coming down due to a train approaching in the distance. You would: a. Stop and wait patiently for the train to pass. b. Make a u-turn and try to find another street or route to avoid waiting for the train to pass. c. Attempt to beat the train by speeding around the railroad bucks.”

In fact, we found the quiz by itself to provide enough laughter, insights (and shame) to make it worth buying the whole book.

What distinguish “The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots” is its uncanny observations of odd, obnoxious, selfish, and outright stupid behavior every driver and passenger witnesses every time they venture onto the roadways. Not one section could be read without recognizing a familiar and memorable ‘cidiotic’ moment that could have ended with clashing metal and agonized screams, or at the very least, a juicy expletive. We especially enjoyed the authors’ marvelous ability to attach titles to the cidiots by their particular habits, such as “The Inner-Laners” (going straight from the left-turn-only lane), or “The Arrogant Knights” (dropping off passengers while blocking all three lanes of traffic), just to give you a taste.

In summary, “The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots” is an absolute riot: hilarious, brilliant, and outright indispensable for both drivers and their unwitting passengers, as well as for surviving pedestrians and public-transportation loyalists who mistakenly believe that their mode of travel is safer. In fact, any reader who has ever been in a moving vehicle (or plans to risk it in the future) would laugh out loud, keep turn the pages, and quote sections to family and friends. Highly recommended!

Celebrity Cidiots

Ever wondered what type of cidiot some of your favorite celebrities are?  According to cheatsheet.com, our top five who've made recent news and tweets, are "Bad Drivers" .....and they know it!

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson made recent tweets about sideswiping a pickup truck that was parked on the street. According to The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots, Johnson would be defined as The Sketch Artist. In the handbook, The Sketch Artist is a cidiot who prides themselves by driving extremely close to parked vehicles while giving each driver side door a free sample of their finest art work. While he may not pride himself in giving that poor pickup truck a free sample of his finest art work and tearing off the mirror, Johnson definitely fits the bill. Instead of a stage 5 Sketch Artist, perhaps he's a Stage 2. Ben Afleck seemed to have tied with The Rock this week, committing the same offense in Santa Monica when he knocked someone's car mirror off. But I have to give them both credit; they owned up to the fact they are Celebrity Cidiots on the road.

Eva Longoria could possibly be the amplified version of The Reckless Rembrandt. Instead of leaving a nasty mark on the parked vehicle's door, she left a nasty mark on a parked vehicle's hood and front grill when she backed into it while trying to make her exodus from the parking lot. Ohhhh that had to hurt.

Kylie Jenner gets the honors of being put in the  Hubub The Flub category, not because she ended up in her neighbor's flowerbed shortly after getting the keys to her parents' car; but simply because she caused a 3 car pileup.

It seems as though Parking is just not one of those driving techniques that celebrities have mastered. Selena Gomez's car ended up in another person's fender on a 7-11 parking lot. She could possibly be defined as The Reckless Rembrandt with Sketch Artist tendencies.



The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots

Own it today!

Voted Reader's Favorite 4 out of 5 Stars

    The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiotsby D.C. Head, G. Head, Ken Head, S.V.Head 

Non-Fiction - Humor
106 Pages
Reviewed on 07/13/2014

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Foreword Clarion Review of "The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots"

The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots

Reviewed by Sonya Lovy
June 3, 2015

This light, fun book shows the best way to deal with “Cidiots” on the road and, of course, how not to become one.

Ever been suddenly cut off by an inconsiderate driver? Or perhaps come across someone who acted as if driving was interrupting their phone call? The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots sympathizes, and offers to deal with these everyday issues through humor. Written in manual style, this book covers all those little things that people do to make the road a miserable place, from tailgating to failing to signal.

According to the manual, a “Cidiot” is “a navigationally deficient person having common driving knowledge in the lowest degree, appearing to be incapable of guarding against and usually the culprit of common road, street, highway, freeway and expressway dangers, and nearly aloof as to how to properly navigate on the roadways.” The majority of the book is devoted to how to deal with these “Cidiots” and, of course, how not to become one yourself. The book even offers a handy quiz at the end to make sure the reader isn’t one already.

The handbook acts as a guide on what not to do while driving, as well as what to watch out for. It’s written as a comedy piece, yet with important information thrown in. It contains just the right amount of levity and seriousness to balance itself out; categorizing the different kinds of tailgaters (“Double Dutch (Toggled Posterior Magnetism),” for example), incorrect shoulder passes, and many more. It’s a light, slice-of-life style that states what every driver often feels about others’ incompetency on the road.

What does not work in the manual’s favor is the formatting. It’s very skewed to the right of the page, with a large font that causes the book to look longer than it is. Often, there are only three paragraphs per page. This might be to give it a more “manual” type of feel, but the result is distracting and hard to read. It doesn’t have to be formatted like a regular novel, but perhaps centering the text a bit more would make it more readable.

While The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots manages to be clever, smart, and surprisingly educational, it could use some editing for the sake of readability. But the book gives a bit of catharsis for those who are sick of encountering “Cidiots” on the road. People who enjoy comedy and despise bad drivers will get the most out of this quick read.

Disclosure: This article is not an endorsement, but a review. The author of this book provided free copies of the book and paid a small fee to have his/her book reviewed by a professional reviewer. Foreword Reviews and Clarion Review make no guarantee that the author will receive a positive review. Foreword Magazine, Inc. is disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255.

The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots is Now Available Through Lulu Publishing!

The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots
 by D.C. Head, G. Head, Ken Head and S.V. Head

I am pleased to announce after a few years of working with the co-authors and the million and one edits, "Cidiots" is now available through Lulu Publishing. In the coming weeks, it will be available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and all other online retailers. Click on the Buy Now button at the top of the page and tell me what you think!

About the Authors

D.C. HEAD has been writing for many years, contributing short stories and poems to local publications, but is best known for her self-published compilation of poetry entitled Flow.  



ABOUT THE CO-AUTHORS

G. HEAD, Co-Author, has always considered writing a hobby but didn’t take it seriously until she contributed her humorous perspective for the first time to the The Little Handbook for the Navigationally Challenged Cidiots.

KEN HEAD, Co-Author, discovered his love for writing at the tender age of five, leisurely writing many works of children’s fiction that he hopes to publish one day.


S.V. HEAD, Co-Author and Illustrator, has illustrated for several books including Flow and The Little Handbook for Navigationally Challenged Cidiots.

Quiz Time!

Test yourself by answering each question honestly to see where you fall on the cidiot chart.

1.  A driver is attempting to merge in front of you on the expressway.  You usually:

1. Speed up to keep them from merging even though you have ample room ahead of you. (1)
2. Either move over into the neighboring lane if possible or slow down to allow the driver to complete their merge. (3)
3. Blow your horn if they’re not merging fast enough. (2)

2. The expressway traffic is moving slow due to an accident in the left passing lane and you’re less than one mile away from your exit.  Would you:

1.  Wait patiently in the stop and go traffic until you get to your exit. (3)
2. Use the right shoulder as a passing lane and exit off. (1)
3. Dodge from lane to lane, depending on which one is moving a little bit faster than the other, until you get to your exit. (2)

3.  The railroad bucks are coming down due to a train approaching in the distance.  You would:

a.        Stop and wait patiently for the train to pass. (3)

b.      Make a u-turn and try to find another street or route to avoid waiting for the train to pass. (2)

c.       Attempt to beat the train by speeding around the railroad bucks. (1)

4.  You’re approaching a two-way stop and don’t see any vehicles coming.  You would:

a.        Come to a complete stop anyway then proceed across. (3)

b.      Slow down just a little bit without stopping completely, and then proceed across. (2)

c.       Continue across since there aren’t any vehicles approaching. (1)

5.  You receive a text message while you’re driving.  Would you:

a.        Wait until you pull over or park before responding to the text. (3)

b.      Read the text message and respond while you’re driving. (1)

c.       Read the text message while driving but don’t respond until you’re at a stop light or unless traffic ahead of you is moving slowly. (2)

  

6.  A driver pulls in front of you, cutting you off.  Would you:

a.       Become irritated and start riding their bumper. (2)

b.      Blow your horn, throw up the middle finger as you go around them, then reciprocate the offense. (1)

c.       Slow down to avoid a collision. (3)

7.  You’re so close to passing the street you are supposed to turn on and you’re not in your right lane.  Usually you would:

a.        Cut traffic off at the last minute so you won’t miss your turn. (1)

b.      Just turn down the next street and come back up or make a legal u-turn when possible. (3)

c.       Hold up traffic in your lane until you can find a space to merge over and make the turn. (2)

Now that you’ve taken the quiz, tally up your score and refer to the chart below to see how you rated.

Score:	What your score means:
7 - 11	You are a major cidiot
12 - 16	You are a borderline cidiot
17 - 21	You are a “Perfect Patty” and could possibly become a cidiot victim.